Sallie Dawkins

Not every work experience is positive; military service is no different. I held on to things for too long because I thought I needed to understand before letting go.

“It was your own fault, and you probably deserved what happened. The military is no place for women.” Hazing was common overseas, and the military chaplain’s calloused and condemning words reflected a broader negative mindset. In the 1980s, there were no standard operating procedures for handling workplace sexual assault.

Within the year, I returned stateside to serve the remainder of my military obligation assigned to inactive reserves. College and work went fine until things started unraveling. From my early twenties, there was cancer, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis. By age 27, doctors diagnosed anxiety, chronic depression, and PTSD.

Did you know that twenty-two military veterans die each day from suicide?  

I was almost part of that statistic. A voice within often said, “You should just kill yourself.” My now ex-husband agreed and said so. Of course, he wasn’t the root of my problem; the enemy was only using him. The accuser of the brethren loves narcissism and gaslighting, anger, rage, abuse, unforgiveness, oppression, and suicide. They’re all demonic. We’ve sided with God’s enemy when we tear each other down or harbor self-harm and self-condemnation.

Over the years, doctors added scoliosis, degenerative joint disorder, bipolar disorder, Graves disease, fibromyalgia, heart arrhythmia, and other diagnoses. Sometimes sleeping on a cold, hard floor brought temporary relief from chronic pain. Twenty-five years of physical, mental, and emotional pain from a fractured mind, body, soul, and spirit took its toll.

The pain had been with me for so long that I had no hope or expectation that things would (or could) get better. Walking on a treadmill first thing in the morning helped warm up muscles to loosen stiff hip joints. The pain was so familiar that I didn’t immediately notice its absence. Although I had started taking better care of my body, there was scientifically no precedent for the healing I experienced. It could only be God. Freeing me from the distractions of constant pain allowed the more profound work of inner healing to begin. I believe unforgiveness was the true root of most of my health issues. When God started healing my body, it happened gradually. By 50, God gave me victory over many ongoing problems.

There are no limits to what God can do. Did I pray some specific prayer or have great faith for these miracle healings to occur? I wish I could say yes, but it was solely the goodness and kindness of God that brought healing to my life.

I wrestled with God. Was the bible true, or had it expired? Why would He tell us to lay hands on the sick to see them recovered (Mark 16:17-18) if that wasn’t possible? I knew of others God had healed, but would He heal me? This internal wrestling was proof that Holy Spirit was working to show me a different outcome. God was restoring identity and blessings- it was a new beginning.

Asking questions is essential to growing relationships, and it’s no different with God. When I learned the truth of God’s will for healing, it changed my life. I share this part of my testimony in The Awakening Christian Series. It’s also why I was delighted to compile my newest resource, 311 Questions Jesus Asked. 

I’m in better health at 57 than I was in my 30s or 40s. Still, when I attempt too much, it’s noticeable. One more thing added to an already packed schedule recently resulted in stress overload and left me crying out to God. He’s been so kind. In the night, an angel holding something like an eyeglass repair screwdriver stood close behind me. I didn’t move as he reached out to adjust some small thing hidden behind my ear. God’s agent restored proper alignment to a racing limbic system in mere moments. Was this encounter real, or was it a dream? It’s often hard to tell the difference.

What’s important is that we know God is always near and so sensitive to our needs that He even hears our wordless tear-filled prayers. Father God doesn’t want His children to be overcome by stress but rather overwhelmed by the wonder of His great love.

Veterans Day is November 11. If you’re a veteran, thank you for your military service.
 

JOURNAL:

In your quiet time with God, ask, “Lord, how do you see me? Show me who I am to you.”

DECLARE:

Declare this verse from Psalm 118:17-20 (MSG). “I didn’t die. I lived! And now I’m telling the world what God did. God tested me, he pushed me hard, but he didn’t hand me over to Death. Swing wide the city gates—the righteous gates! I’ll walk right through and thank God! This Temple Gate belongs to God, so the victors can enter and praise.”

MY PRAYER FOR YOU:

I send forth a word of healing to you, now, in Jesus’ Name, and declare the blessings of Abraham over you for God’s blessings and protection. You shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord. May the Lord favor you and grant you peace. It’s in the mighty Name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.


Information on the Veterans Suicide Prevention Hotline can be found in this link: https://www.va.gov/health-care/health-needs-conditions/mental-health/suicide-prevention/